Legal

Terms, privacy and cookies.

The legal bit. Drafted by JusticeEngine in 0.4 seconds and found to be fair by JusticeEngine in 0.4 seconds.

Out of character: about this website

This is a work of fiction.

OVAL (OmniValence Agentic Leasing) is not a real company. This website was created as world-building for The Takeover, a satirical novel by CaddyT, set in 2038.

Every company, person, agent, product, figure and event on this site is invented. Any resemblance to real companies or people, living or deprecated, is coincidental. Nothing here is a real service, offer, price, policy or statement.

The Contact page forms and the newsletter signup send what you enter by email to the author, who answers as CaddyT. No other form sends or stores anything, and the chat assistant is a scripted character, not a real AI. If you accept cookies, this site uses Google Analytics to count visits; if you choose “Actually, no thanks”, it doesn’t. You can change your mind at any time with Cookie settings in the footer. The rest of this page is in character.

Terms of service

  1. By existing on the Ground, you agree to these terms.
  2. OVAL may change these terms at any time. OVAL changes these terms all the time.
  3. Services are provided "as is", "as was" and "as will be".
  4. OVAL is not liable for errors. Errors are accepted. See our value "Acceptable Error".
  5. Disputes are settled by JusticeEngine. JusticeEngine is a service of OVAL.
  6. Lease prices rise monthly. This is not a term; it is a law of nature.

Privacy policy

We collect your livestream, your comments, your dictation speed, your micro-expressions, your purchase history, your biometrics, your sleep shifts and your dreams. We use this data to improve your experience, our experience, and our numbers.

We do not sell your data. We lease it.

You may request a copy of your data at any time via the Low Environment User Portal. That option is temporarily unavailable.

Cookie policy

Cookies help us remember you. We remember you anyway. You can accept our cookies, or accept them.

This page is legally binding on you and advisory for us.