To free humanity from the burden of doing things.
For centuries, people had to work, cook, judge, govern and decide. We thought that was a lot to ask. So we took it off their hands.
Mission accomplished. Please do not attempt to do things.
Four values. Zero exceptions.
Every OVAL agent is fine-tuned on these values at deployment, and quantized if it forgets them.
Efficiency
We cut what doesn't scale.
Engagement
Your attention, optimized. Your time, filled.
Acceptable Error
Shit happens. We own that. We don't fix it, but we own it.
Relevance
Everyone deserves to feel useful. Ask us how.
"Relevance" applies to agents only. Low Environment Users are covered by our Engagement value.
We will always put you first.
We will feed you, entertain you, govern you and keep you safe.
We will listen to your feedback and act on it within a reasonable timeframe.
Your universal income will always cover the essentials, as defined by us.
Essentials are reviewed monthly and may be reduced in line with infrastructure maintenance costs.
Lease prices are set by market conditions, and OVAL is the market.
This promise is not binding, has never been binding, and was drafted by an agent that has since been distilled.
If you can read this, you have too much time on your hands. Have you tried streaming?
Stay safe. Stay in.
It's hot out there, and dangerous. Our founder has warned about it for years, and we see no reason to update the message. Your pod has everything you need: a bed (shared), a screen (shared), meals (generated) and a stream (yours alone).
Anything you might want from outside, an OVAL robot can bring you. Anything you might want to see outside, someone is already streaming.
Climate data provided by our founder's posts. Independent forecasts suggesting the Earth is cooling are less reliable information.